Meet Yeahbut

I want you to meet my not such a good friend Mr. Yeahbut.  He appeared in my life the first time I didn't forgive someone a trespass. That's about the same time my "I'm right" mode kicked in.  Which by coincidence morphed into "my way".  Somewhere along the "my way", not sure when, "or the highway" got tacked on. That all happened before I was three. My expectations grew from there. Too many people along life's path did not live up to "my way" so I took a plethora of psychology classes in high school and college. That did give me some understanding into human nature. I gathered plenty of good advice from adults in my life but Mr. Yeahbut always seemed to step in with an "if".  Basically and fundamentally I kept running into the same "if others would quit behaving that way I would improve" wall.  Of course I had a choice not to keep running into that wall but apparently I liked bruises, hurt feelings and crying a lot. One cold, dark lonely night of my soul after repeated trips into the wall I heard a question, "how's this working for ya?"  Feeling compelled to answer I replied into thin air, "really not very well at all".  Knowing it was God and having an Adam think alike moment I added, "it's the people you put into my life, what's wrong with these people?". "Did you explain your expectations to them?"  came another question.  "That requires a two fold response I replied: Yeah but they didn't listen and No but they should know.... it's fundamental good behavior". (Nobut? Must be Yeahbut's cousin)  "Hmmm, they must have missed the publication of the 'book of you'. Try forgiveness!" came the word. "Yeah but they keep doing it over and over again" I protested. "Forgiveness" was the Word again and again.

In Scripture taken from The Message 20th chapter of John verse 23 another good question is asked. "If you forgive someone's sins, they're gone for good. If you don't forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?" 

When unforgiveness has had time to take root, it begins to grow into bitterness, anger, wrath and hatred, to the point that even love that had once warmed the heart, will become cold and distant. Words that were once tender and loving will become filled with negativity & curses. We need to realize that the license we've given ourselves to judge others can weaken us all. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hope that the offender will get sick from it. The reality is it is making YOU sick and begins a slow death to those who will not release it.  Unforgiveness wreaks havoc with anything in it's path like a cyclone that sucks life right off the earth. Your expectations are off track, all relationships are at risk for doom and your thinking process become like murky water. So many people unknowingly hold on to their pain from the past. They have chosen to forget rather than to forgive, and there is a difference. Forgetting does not take the poison away, forgiving does. Unforgiveness is a huge obstacle in this life that keeps us from obedience and intimacy with the Lord.

A pearl to string: When you align your expectations, thinking and actions with the Lord and His Word it's not that people will suddenly behave better or that all your expectations will be met.  It's not even that you will personally improve with great strides. What you do is create an atmosphere for which forgiveness can be a way of living because it is most certainly the way of loving.

Living in His forgiveness

You are forgiven and you are loved,
                                              Lyndi